Lose the standup, keep the updates

Standups are dead.
Long live the sit-down.

Your team's updates, actually worth reading. Auto-generated from Linear, Jira & GitHub. Delivered with a side of dad jokes.

# product

SitDownApp8:37 AM

Today's Sitdown Digest

@sarah.chen

Shipped error boundary for dashboard — because even dashboards need emotional support sometimes. Boundaries are healthy.

Wrestling with flaky CI tests since two weeks ago — CI stands for "Consistently Irritating"

Sarah asked: "User somehow has a negative balance, should that even be possible?"

@marcus.rivera

Finished API rate limiting middleware — slow down there, buckaroo

@jenna.reed

Merged user preferences migration — data's got a new home

That's a wrap! Ship safe out there ✌️

Message #product

Let's be honest about standups.

You know the ritual. 9:00 AM. Everyone gathers (or worse, unmutes). "Yesterday I worked on the thing. Today I'll work on the thing. No blockers." Repeat x8 teammates. 15 minutes of your life you'll never get back.

Meanwhile, in Slack: "Can someone recap what Sarah said? I was on mute making coffee." The dirty secret? Most developers say standups kill their flow and that they zone out during other people's updates.

"Dailies suck and are a waste of time"

— Most common opinion amongst Youtube Software Engineer influencers

What if updates wrote themselves?

Sitdown pulls your team's actual work from Linear, Jira, and GitHub. Then rewrites it as updates worth opening. No meetings. No typing "fixed bug in auth flow" for the 47th time.

Auto-import

Pulls tickets moved, comments added. Your work speaks for itself (finally).

Humor modes

Dad Mode. Meme Mode. Haiku Mode. Corporate BS Generator (warning: might actually lower productivity). Pick your vibe.

Actually useful

Blocker alerts that get read. Weekly summaries people forward to leadership. Async > synchronous.

Pick your fighter.

Each update can sound like your team. Pick one mode, or let every teammate set their own.

Dad Mode

For teams who appreciate a good groan.

Knocked out 3 tickets today—guess you could say I'm on a roll! Now diving into the API refactor. It's going to be legendary... wait for it... okay it's mostly just renaming variables but STILL.

Meme Mode

For teams who communicate primarily in references.

Production bug said "I'm inevitable." I said "and I... am... a developer who actually reads error logs." *snaps* Timeouts are no more. We're so back.

Haiku Mode

For teams with sophisticated taste.

Four PRs reviewed Auth feature merged at sunset Docs bloom like spring flowers

Corporate BS Generator

For teams who enjoy gentle satire of corporate life.

Continuing to leverage synergistic design paradigms to optimize stakeholder-facing data visualization touchpoints. Translation: the dashboard. It's coming.

Setup time: 4 minutes.
Time saved: 2+ hours/week.

Connect your tools

Linear, Jira, GitHub, or all three. OAuth flow. No API keys to hunt down.

Pick your humor

Team-wide default + individual overrides. Dave in DevOps needs Meme Mode.

Choose delivery

Daily digest? Per-person channels? Friday summary as a sports recap?

Sit down. Relax.

Updates generate automatically. Your team reads them.

Fridays just got interesting.

Every Friday, Sitdown generates a team summary. But not a boring one. Choose your format:

The Weekly Tribune

"BREAKING: Frontend Team Ships Major Feature, Backend Team 'Cautiously Optimistic'"

Sports Commentary

"And the Engineering squad comes into the weekend UP by 47 tickets!"

Movie Trailer

"In a world... where deadlines loom... one team dared to ship on time."

D&D Campaign Recap

"The party defeated the Bug Dragon of Production. +50 XP to all members."

more forwards to leadership

Teams report Friday summaries are shared more than traditional status reports.

Blockers that actually get unblocked.

The problem with "any blockers?" in standup: nobody wants to be the one to say yes. Sitdown watches for stuck tickets automatically.

Plot twist in Sprint 47

Looks like @josh has been in an epic battle with AUTH-234 for 7 days now. The ticket has seen things. Josh has seen things.

→ View ticket→ Send moral support

Light-hearted delivery, serious utility.

Blockers get addressed 41% faster when they're surfaced with humor instead of judgment. (We made that stat up, but it feels true, right?)

Simple pricing.

Priced for "I can expense this without asking finance."

POPULAR

Let's get rolling

$10per user/month

We'd love it to be free, but somebody's gotta pay for the tokens.

✓ Unlimited teammates
✓ Unlimited humor
✓ Unlimited updates
✓ Github, Slack, Jira & Linear integrations
✗ Limited sky (Yes, the sky is the limit)

Cheapskate

$0forever

Bring your own Anthropic API key.

✓ Unlimited teammates
✓ Unlimited humor
✓ Unlimited updates
✓ Github, Slack, Jira & Linear integrations
✗ Limited dignity (we won't judge you)

Cancel anytime. We'll only cry a little.

Q: What if my team has no sense of humor?

A: Wait until we launch the "Professional with Personality" mode that's 90% less funny, 90% more like your boss.

Q: Will this make my standups obsolete?

A: That's... kind of the point? But also yes.

Q: What if I actually LIKE standups?

A: We respect that. We don't understand it, but we respect it.

Teams who've sat down and stayed down.

"It's controversial but AI humour makes me laugh more often than people's actual humour."

— My friend when I told him about Sitdown

Your team deserves updates worth reading.

And you deserve your mornings back.

Setup takes 4 minutes. No meetings required. (Obviously.)

Standups are dead.Long live the sit-down.